Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
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