You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
Randomize
