Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
