why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
