Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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