Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
You did what with his pubic hair?
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
