This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
