That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
I still have a little drunk in my system
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
