I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
you have to choose: penises or morals?
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Randomize
