Its about making memories worth repressing
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Randomize
