Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
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