Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
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