I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Randomize