You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Randomize
