Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
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