been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
