just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Pants are for mortals
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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