Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
