y did u give ur computer a hand job?
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
