Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
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