He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize