The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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