so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize