I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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