When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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