forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
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