whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
