Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Randomize
