Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
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