I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
