I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
Randomize