i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Randomize
