What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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