The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
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