Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Randomize
