He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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