I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
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