are you still at the devil's house?
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
