My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Randomize