I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
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