Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
