dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
This is classic penis vs brain.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
