But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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