Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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