Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
