Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
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