Pappa wants mamma naked
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
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