You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
