Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
