does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Randomize
