is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Randomize
