is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
