I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
