I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Randomize
