We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
