if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
