You're completely useless in the revolution.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
