They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
BRING THE BAGELS
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Randomize
