If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
