Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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