1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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