I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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