HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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