I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
